North Korean Submarine Sighted Near Flood Zone in Texas

North Korean Submarine Sighted Near Flood Zone in Texas

FORT BEND COUNTY, TEXAS:  A North Korean submarine was seen surfacing in Jones Creek today off FM359. This particular submarine, a part of their Rust Class battle group, is known for beach landings, mostly accidental. It is not known if this particular sub contains any nuclear devices, but a small hatch opened up and a guy yelled in broken English, “Is this New York City?”

Coast Guard and Army helicopters were on scene within minutes but were unable to locate the vessel. The last known sighting was at 3:39pm by an immigration attorney.  When questioned by authorities, all he remembers was (paraphrased) seeing the alien ship descend into the chocolate milk that was in his big ditch.  He also mentioned (paraphrased) he had been throwing recently emptied vodka bottles at it all afternoon.

Any future sightings should be reported immediately to 877-KIM-JONG, as they really want this high-tech and possible world-ending vessel back.